I did not come here to be like you! I came here to be me, to have a separate experience of something other than Oneness, to not know it, to forget it! Whatever IT is!
You see, I know Oneness, not personally, but generally, vaguely, fleetingly but not completely. It goes by another name too, that of Love! In fact, Love is the only means for me to know Oneness, because to truly know Oneness, I couldn’t be here, experiencing the illusion of being separate, having a unique experience, an experience that is other than ‘it’
I am beginning to not desire the return home, to ‘It’, for that will happen when it happens and I may just regret not getting to know ‘me’ as the separate and unique entity who is willing, in this short time I have on earth, to fly alone. That being said, the realisation of non separation has allowed for a softening, an easing, an accepting that was not available to me beforehand. My guess is that I may suffer less often. Although, its worth pointing out that it is a guess. For how can I even know how much I might or might not have suffered otherwise?
When you know that you have an invisible, intangible, formless source that you are infinitely connected to, you don’t need to consider the possibility of not being separate. I don’t need to desire something of which I am already part. I get to enjoy the illusion of separation and so do you. Like going to the cinema every single moment of my life knowing that eventually, I will go home!
How many times have you held back, toned down, changed course, simply to fit in, or to at least not stand out? If you can relate, you will also relate to the feeling that arises when you do any of those things. An unnamed feeling, almost guilt, shame, a feeling of something being ‘off’. We might even tell ourselves it’s uncomfortable and shouldn’t we get used to ‘uncomfortable’? Isn’t all of the juicy stuff in the feeling of ‘discomfort’? Pushing our comfort zone wider, expanding to a new comfort zone? Well, sometimes, but, there is an important factor in feelings of discomfort and a feeling of something not being right that is worth a closer look.
We often believe our feelings to be telling us about the outside world, a situation, an event or a person. The illusion seems real. Our feelings though are only ever telling us about our inside world. They know nothing of anything beyond our mind. Feelings are simpler than we believe, than most current personal development or psychological models understand. Feelings are your inner guide.
Feelings aren’t telling you ‘what’ to do, they are telling you what your mind is already doing!
Take fitting in for example. If in your quest to fit in, you have a feeling anything other than one of love, peace, calm, that feeling is pointing you to your own mind and the resistance within it. It is pointing you to the amazing phenomena of which you are already part, that of the Universal Power that drives all things. The feeling is a pointing finger when you forget and you start to believe that fitting in is something that you must do or even must not do. Rather than telling you that you don’t have to fit in after all, it is telling you that you that fitting in or not fitting in, are merely concepts. You get to choose because the illusion of separation requires you to be unique. To show up to the moment as you already are!
This means that fitting in is neutral, but whether you want to fit in is not! By the same token, not fitting in is neutral but whether you want to not fit in, is not!
We are born to want! Its a driving force; desire! Our connection to others, is a result of following desire or rater being led by desire. Ultimately, maybe the job of desire is to meet itself, to connect all things in form that are already truly connected in the formless?! Desire is a reminder of who we really are, One. Desire is isness
Some say that desire is pure ego, however, it seems that the internal battle we have with desire is ego, desire itself is natural and innate and arises from the silence of Mind. It is the resistance that we have with desire that is the cause of suffering. It is the labels that we attribute to desire that cause a felt disturbance. Desire itself neutral! What we think about desire is not!
The insecurity we have around desire is consciosness reverberating through the universe, the driving force behind all things and when we mistake that feeling for some other meaning, that insecurity plays out, sometimes in unhealthy ways, in behaviour that is unwanted and harmful. Resistance to desire makes desire hard to resist. We only have to look at the world around us to find evidence of this; addictions, hatred, non acceptance, intolerance.
Slowing down to catch the space beneath desire, the space from where the vibration comes, from where consciousness arises, allows a settling of the mind as it naturally drops insecurity and settles. Thought falls away naturally and the true nature of everything begins to shine through more often. The signs of our healing become clear and we get to follow it, take a different route, a different path with new scenery. We get to create a new story.
All aspects of you are making attempts to heal in every given moment, if only you take a moment to listen <3
If you are struggling to heal right now, please reach out and let me support you