Keep Life Simple has become a mantra of mine, not because life is complicated, but, because it can sometimes seem like it is. Relationships, work, finances and having anything resembling a social life can seem like it entails lots of negotiating, planning for, working towards and thinking about. It looked like that to me for most of my adult life, until I realised that I was simply over-complicating matters.
In fact, the fact that it seemed complicated to do, was one of the main things that prevented me from making moves to simplify my life. Take for instance, my move to self employment and becoming a Coach. Wow, now, that was one major complication and one that took me two years to see the simplicity that was always right there in front of me! Here is how it went:
Im now a coach and everyone will want coaching when they see the benefits! So, how do I show them the benefits? Well, I speak to everyone I possibly can about coaching of course…….*watches as everyone disappears out of the room when they see me coming*. Hmmmm, ok, so I’ll give marketing a go, I mean, marketers say it works so I’m pretty sure that I will be earning 6 figures in no time!! I learn how to do Facebook ads, start a Facebook group, talk about coaching all over Social Media……..*watches as absolutely nothing happens other than a few likes on some posts*
You see, no one can really understand the benefits of coaching until they’ve experienced it because it has such a personal impact. I really started to see this after 18 month of slogging away and making only £250. Yes, you read that right, £250 in nearly 18 months. It wasn’t a business at all, it wasn’t even a hobby, it was a bad habit, something that I just refused to fail at and kept going because I didn’t want people to think of me as a failure. I had no concept then of how actually, what other people thought of me was simply their imagined version of me and could not possibly impact me. It really looked like it could. Not only that, it looked like my own failure was impacting me too. I was stressed, not sleeping and contemplating suicide daily. I mean, really contemplating suicide, until one day, I found myself in a hotel room in London, believing that I was making suicide my reality, I was actually going to do it and at last, I had found a way of doing it so that my family would suffer less. They wont even know it was suicide because it would look like a tragic accident.
Anyway, I will save that story for another time, because, here I am and what I found, starting that evening, was Service <3 Yes, it was a slow discovery and it was months later when I worked with a coach, to help me make sense of it. I just had an inkling that actually, I hadn’t been helping people at all, I had been ‘selling’ to them. A natural mistake to make I know, but, a mistake nevertheless.
Selling only crosses my mind now when Im feeling insecure! Instead, I am in service. Not just in my business, but in life. In my personal relationships with my partner, my friends, family, colleagues, clients, everyone and that includes myself! Selling my coaching is unnecessary when I am in service. I help people uncover their own misunderstanding and shift their life and they want to pay me for that.
There is nothing for me to do other than those things that I want to do. I have gradually dispensed of ‘should do’s’ and ‘need to do’s’ and in doing so, discovered that my life was full of those. I discovered space and now I want to do the things that I do. I write, I see, I work out, I spend time with the people that I love, I help others, I travel, I spend more time in joy and less time in striving. My mind isn’t full of ways to manage a to do list and so its cleared the way to live in service!
You see, I might have these odds slightly wrong, but, they aren’t far off; there is a 300 trillion to one chance of you being born as you!!! You could have been born as anyone, but no, you were born as you!! Odds like that don’t happen for nothing! There is a reason you were born as you and that reason is, that is your purpose, to be you! There isn’t any need for you to search for your purpose, you ARE it! Right now, you’re it! <3
Live each moment knowing that! Speak from that! Listen from that space. There isn’t much else to do, other than exactly what you want to do, that is service. You see, to be in service to others, we have to first be in service to ourselves! We have to see that we aren’t here to multi-task, strive harder and do more. We are here to do, to create, with Grace and joy!
Allow other people that same Grace. Slow down and rid your life of ‘should do’s’ and and lovingly and honestly let them know that they can too. Hold their hand and show them, guide them, speak to them and listen to them and remember, in doing so, listen to you!
As I gradually realised the truth of this, my life shifted gear, along with my personal relationships and my business relationships. This is where I work from, serve from, that place! There is no need to to worry about who I should be, could be, would rather be, because, I am me and showing up that way, I am able to help others see their truth too! Living from integrity takes the need to manage our lives off the table and allows us to somehow to slow down whilst doing more of what we love <3
Keep life simple and in service to yourself, reflect on your to do list and remove all of those ‘should’s and needs’. The chances are, they can wait, or can be done by someone else, or even, not done at all.