Many people are looking for a cure for their busy mind, for their Overthinking! What they are not realising is that they already have one!
The feelings we get when we have a busy mind are here FOR us and are not working against us. The feelings we get when we are Overthinking is a reminder, a nudge from mind that we are Overthinking. Feelings like tiredness, heaviness, anxiety, stress, anger, frustration and so on. But often it is the feelings that people are looking to cure, to release, to rid themselves of and not the busy mind itself.
What happens is one of two things:
People try to organise all of their ‘thoughts’ into categories of priority or importance in a bid to focus, or, they try to rid themselves of the negative thoughts.
These would be perfectly logical steps, if, controlling our thoughts was possible. Unfortunately, contrary to most psychological theories, it is in fact impossible. However, how unfortunate is that in reality? Lets look a little closer.
If in fact it were possible to control our thoughts, possibility would shrink. You can’t think what you don’t know! It just wouldn’t occur to you to have a thought that you did not know about. You would stick to the same old thoughts, day in, day out, believing that those are the thoughts available to you, or that those are the thoughts that serve you best and even those are the thoughts you are stuck with. Can you relate?
In fact, this is more common than we realise. It’s called ‘habitual thinking’. It’s thinking that sticks, forms neuro-pathways in our brain and these thoughts are often become our default. It is the very fact that we believe we are in control that prevents us from noticing new fresh thinking, new ideas, new perspectives.
Furthermore, our mistaken belief that we get to control our thinking causes friction. Yes, we are actually trying to work against our own mind, our own universal mind. I did this for years. In my quest to feel better, to rid myself of depression and anxiety, I tried to have better thoughts, more positive thoughts. In essence, I simply took a shitty spoon to my mind and stirred it up, creating resistance. Resistance to mind energy feels unpleasant, feels difficult, stiff somehow, scary even. I really wanted to get rid of that feeling and so I stirred some more. I failed to understand that the feelings were trying to tell me something. There is wisdom in the feeling!
Whilst all of the thought was being stirred by me, I had very little chance to look into mind and catch a fresh new thought.
Fresh new thinking started to appear though, when I saw insightfully that I couldn’t change anything, that I aren’t that powerful. I gradually put down the shitty spoon and stopped stirring more often and I noticed other options, other thoughts that hadn’t occurred to me before. New fresh thinking emerges naturally, floats to the surface more readily when we allow mind to settle. In essence, what happened was this: I surrendered!
I surrendered to not having control. I surrendered to not being able to change how I feel. I realised that although I felt bad, I couldn’t die from a feeling, but, perhaps I could die from trying to do something about a feeling – think drugs, food, suicide. Yes, suicide was a constant thought for me and I even surrendered to the okayness of that. I accepted that I felt suicidal because I realised that if I was capable of changing that thought and feeling, after 8 years, I would surely have done so.
Like magic, I began to feel lighter, relieved of a burden that I had been carrying around for most of my life. I began to slip out of the habitual thinking that I had had to rely on previously because my mind had been too busy and messy form me to notice anything other. Thoughts such as ‘I have to feel better’, ‘I have to try harder’, ‘I am not enough’ suddenly started to look less solid and real. New thoughts like ‘it isn’t true that you’re not good enough’ accompanied with a lightness and deep knowing arose and I started to see that my natural state is peace and calm. Furthermore, I saw that my natural state is more readily available when I am not trying to achieve it. It was the ‘trying to achieve it’ that causing the ‘felt disturbance’. I was swimming against the tide of my mind!
This is the human condition, the condition of you too. The illusion is real and in a world where we are taught to control more and more often, we rarely get chance to give up the resistance. On those occasions where we are calm, we believe it is because we have done something right; loved enough, been loved enough, worked hard enough for today, made enough money. But non of that is true.
Feeling calmer, more loving, more at peace is ALWAYS because we have allowed it to emerge. We have given up the fight in our mind and accepted this moment from what it is.
Miracles emerge from this place, from this space in our mind that is accepted and allowed. Fresh new thinking, a better feeling, can all be along at any moment when we let go of control. Even more wonderful, energy starts to resume, bodies and Minds can heal and restore and our whole world can change without hardly anything changing at all <3
I invite you to surrender, to let go and to accept that you aren’t in control. I know that you wouldn’t be self harming with your own thoughts if you fully knew that is what you were doing! Who would?! 7.6 billion humans wondering the earth trying to make themselves feel better so that they can live a fulfilled and happy life. THAT, is a whole lot of Overthinking.
Imagine the whole raft of possibility if we start to let go!
Imagine the leaders who would relax enough to love and lead a little more!
Imagine the relationships that would be deepened!
Imagine the amount of compassion that would arise for ourselves and others with the simple realisation that we are already enough in this moment!
Imagine the ideas that would be given space to be actioned!
Again, I invite you to surrender, to give up the internal battle, to put down your shitty spoon and discover what emerges for you <3
Do you have a project or task that you just cannot seem to get around to? It seems that the hardest job in the world sometimes, is just starting. Just start, you may think and then, you don’t! Is it down to a lack of commitment? Perhaps! But what is the act of committing or the lack of committing down to?
Commitment looks like something that cannot be stopped or changed, altered or slowed down. The act of ‘committing’ seems a serious business and often, commitment requires either a guarantee that something will work out the way we hope or believe, or else, being prepared for it not to.
Yes, commitment can look like a big deal!
What if commitment doesn’t have to viewed as a long term contract? What if the only thing we can really commit to is this very moment? The present moment, the moment we have right now. This is actually the only sensible option and will allow for change, growth and transformation.
Realising that commitment is not a serious business, well, it takes the seriousness out of committing. You can commit, fully knowing that at a later time, what is important has changed shape, moved up or down a place and your new world view allows for fresh thinking, a renewed or even different commitment!
This is in fact how creativity works. Everything in life is creative, created and is part of creation. Everything is a construct of the principle of thought taking form in the moment and can only be created and perceived from there, from our inner world.
Thought isn’t static or stuck or a certain way. Thought changes shape, changes form and changes the way we see life, including the project we are creating, how we are creating and even whether we are creating it at all. But it doesn’t always seem that way. Life seems solid and robust and when we have made a decision, a commitment, we have to continue with that commitment don’t we?
When we begin to understand the changeable nature of life, of thought. Commitment takes on a new meaning. The act of committing is temporary, a promise in the moment. Knowing this, you become responsive rather than reactive. You can alter paths, change course, respond to what is right now and solve problems that arise without having to think in advance of every possible scenario that might arise, trying to solve it beforehand. In other words, you will have less on your mind. This gives a whole new meaning to ‘managing risk’. Managing risk is guess work. Instead, you can respond to risk if and when it arises.
Let me give you an example:
During a call last week, my client noted how many different things that I appear to do, whereas, right now, she is doing the same thing that she began when we first started to work together. Actually though, she is not. Her project is amazing and is really worthwhile. It has grown and changed shape. She has given it more substance than when she first began and she actually runs it differently, but, she has continued with the same project. She also charges more, uses more technology and leads it differently, although yes, it still heads under the same name.
When my client first committed to the project 18 months ago, it looked quite different. Did she commit to the project remaining the same? Maybe at the time it looked to her that way. What she actually committed to though, was creating the project and to it’s continual development and creation. Of course, like all of us, she has moments of overthinking, moments where her plan doesn’t seem to be in alignment with her original plan and she forgets how much she has grown. During those moments, it doesn’t look like growth at all, it looks like she hasn’t set out to do what she originally set out to do. That is true. She has done so much more!
I know that she will continue to grow and change and alter her commitments accordingly, because she has experienced for herself that she has an innate capacity to deal with any circumstance, problem, pothole, change in scenery that arises, but, only in this moment!
In other words, she commits, makes plans, imagines what might and could happen and actually creates because she has an awareness of her innate capacity to create every single new moment. She is connected to her inner resilience, her ability to respond from a place of wellbeing. This gives her what some think is a ‘superpower’; the ability to innovate
It’s the same for you too. If like many, you find yourself committing and then not following through, or you realise that you are reluctant to commit and so have great ideas that you don’t start, you’re probably misunderstanding the true essence of commitment! The commitment is actually to yourself! it’s your promise to do something, to undertake a task, a project, a job that over time, is likely to look different, be different, feel different. By not committing to allowing THAT, to allowing growth and change and transformation, you are withholding part of your self from the world and we are all missing out!
You have the ability, the capacity to innovate. It is your birthright. You have within you the power to respond rather than react and to create without worrying about risk! Furthermore, you can realise that you have dealt with risk many times in your life and regardless of how it felt at the time, or feels right now, you not only survived, you thrived. You are a born risk taker, a born innovator, commit to that!
I see you, in plain view, hiding on Social Media
I see you with your gorgeous smile that doesn’t even reach you
I see you, leading and being and pretending that you can’t
I see you, wearing a filter and wishing that you were that
I see you, rushing and tidying up life and missing your purpose
I see you and your million and one things, faces and places, ignoring the one place where your real face is
I see you, pretending to taste but swallowing it whole
I see you, missing your magic and jumping down the hole
I see you, wanting to rest but not daring do
I see you, because, me too
I see you, looking at the lense and waiting for the flash
I see you, with aching cheeks, tired eyes, wishing you had a pass
I see you, behaving like everything is normal
I see you, waiting for your obituary to become formal
I see you, waiting to breathe out and not seeing this is the moment
I see you, believing your life is dormant
I see you now, waking up and wondering
I see you now, reading these words and the insight that’s forming
I see you, noticing the space and realising that its yours
I see you, yearning to embrace, to cherish and adore
I see you and your true nature and the game you’ve been playing
I see you, your innocence and you’re simple not knowing
I see you, the realisation arising that now is your time
I see you, your frown lines dissolving, bullshit melting
I see you, your magnificence, your ordinary life
I see you, just being here with me now, not caring that this doesn’t rhyme
I see you, realising that maybe you are a creator
I see you, mulling over the messiness and forgetting later
I see you, accepting all that you are
I see you, taking off the mask that you think kept you safe so far
I see you, taking a chance that I might be right
I see you, turning your gaze to your light
I see you, noticing that real life is just beginning
I see you, loving and honouring and winning!
I see you, coming undone
I see you, now go and be you and have fun!
This is for all of you who are ready to take off the mask and realise your innate power. It’s for all of you humans who haven’t yet played full out with your potential. It’s for all of you humans who are playing at leading and are ready for more. You are already it! There is less to do than you think
Creating Miracles is something that we all do but we rarely notice. Ordinary life, is a perspective of life looking ordinary. But life is nothing short of extraordinary. Even sitting here right now, reaching out to you with my words, its pure alchemy! I mean, how can this even be? Want an example of what I am pointing to? Here goes:
My partner was here a moment ago. I know that because before he left, he walked up to me, bent over and kissed me on the cheek. He then left the room and for all I know, he never even existed at all. He certainly doesn’t exist right now, in this room, in my experience of this room! Not beyond these words that I am writing, is an actual experience of Stephen available to me. Of course, I have memories of his existence a moment ago, but, those moments are no longer moments, they’re past moments. Stephen and my experience of him, is simply made of megapixels of thought and those thoughts, are powered by Mind! Not only that, but even in the moment he was actually here, that was thought too!
Now for the Miracle
If you cast your Mind back to 14.8 Billion years ago, what existed before that moment? What? You didn’t exist? Are you sure? I mean. don’t you know that you are the Universe and from where you came? Of course you don’t, because you were created in an image separate from the Universe, or, so it appears. However, the illusion of being separate, being anything other than the Universe, is the exact illusion that stops you experiencing your non separate self, your Oneness.
But 14.8 Billion years ago there was nothing, no thing and within a moment, there was a Universe and ever since then, it has continued to expand, to grow, to gather momentum and to create. Everything [Every thing] is an extension of that one moment of creation, is part of that moment, arises from that moment, in fact, is still that moment. Yet, it doesn’t seem that way! Scientists are searching for matter and cannot find it, instead, what they find as they look closer, look deeper, is space, is nothing.
Yes, we are here, having an experience that seems to conclude that matter does exist, however, when understood in conjunction with the totality of experience being purely thought, then we can begin to realise that we are the Universe, having an individual experience of itself. In fact, the Universe is having billions of different experiences in any one moment. It is imploding and exploding and creating miracle upon miracle. The mountains, the clouds, the oceans, all life forms, are examples of Universal experience and when we meet those experiences, we can only realise them from our own unique and personal perspective. As if that alone isn’t enough of a miracle, we are then free to realise that we too, are creating miracles.
The trouble is, miracles are often so ordinary that we fail to notice their miraculous nature. This brings me on to my second point
Miracles are Everywhere
I sat down to write this 4 days ago. I have no clue from where the idea came, other than it came through me, not from me. I had a sudden urge to write about what I do, what I help others create and the process that I teach others to harness, the principles from where miracles arise!
Half way through, I was in flow, writing, creating and then suddenly, I wasn’t. I had no idea how to continue. I had lost the thread of this conversation and my message was unclear. I didn’t have the words. I noticed Overthinking emerging, recognisable by the heavy feeling of struggle. Fortunately, I understand more deeply now that to sit and try to force something through layers of thought is tiring, exhausting in fact, when done regularly and for long periods. Mind just doesn’t work that way. I cannot control an energy of which I actually have no control. It would not be my most productive use of time and would take far too much effort. I also know that effort is overrated. After all, I spent the majority of my life putting in effort with variable results and so, if effort was the defining factor of doing great work, producing great ideas and honing my skills, I would have mastered ‘effort’ by now. So, I saved the article to drafts and got on with my life.
But I am here now, not even knowing the exact words in advance, but trusting that as I type this, words emerge. I was sitting in the garden this morning drinking my first cup of tea of the day. It’s now Sunday 15th July 2018 here in the UK, 4 days after I first started to write. I reached for my Mac without thinking and began to type. I had an awareness unfolding as I was doing so, but that awareness was light, peaceful and confident, rather than the heavy form it had taken 4 days previously when I put this work down. Because you see, we are made of and from consciousness, a formless energy that creates all things and Mind is the gateway, the formless gateway that brings consciousness to life and the only thing that prevents us from knowing that, is effort in the shape of thought. Overthinking is resistance to what is. It is resistance to our true nature that gets in the way of our true nature and seeing this for ourselves enables us to relax. The heavy lifting of creating, it isn’t our job and when we see it is taken care of, we can simply get on with life and trust instead that whatever is to be done, will be.
Now that in itself is a miracle isn’t it? The very fact of being able to experience life coming though you, to understand that you have less to do than you might have realised, is a relief. If you want an example, I’m sure you have lots.
Do you have amazing ideas in the shower? Or when out for a walk? Or when you’re out with your friends and family and something suddenly pops into your Mind that you hadn’t considered before? Have you noticed that your best ideas simply come through when you have nothing on your Mind? They arise from presence, from the gaps between thought!
Or maybe you have lost your keys or your glasses or your phone and no matter where you look, you just cannot find them. Later in the day you may find those keys in the fridge and wonder what the hell they are doing there! You see, the more we ‘think’ about a problem, or rather, the more effort we put into ‘thinking’ about a problem, the cloudier the solution will become. Oh the solution is there! It’s always available, but, the solution lies in the space, the gaps between thought, not in ‘thought’ itself. We cannot think our way our of a thinking problem!
Instead, what we can do is realise that. We can notice the effort, the feeling of thinking being heavy and then understand that what that feeling is actually telling us is that we don’t need to do that. The Universe, aka YOU, doesn’t have to put in effort to think when we realise that thinking is a natural phenomena that simply arises. Instead, we can let thinking arise naturally and in the meantime, the right idea, a fresh new idea, a new thought will arise. Now isn’t that miraculous too?
The Final Miracle
If you’re still with me right now, or even if you aren’t, I want to take you back to your Universal self, the place from where we started at the beginning of this. I want to nudge you in the other direction, to who you really are and remind you of your magnificence. You can throw yourself back into life and notice that YOU in fact are the ultimate miracle and from where everything in your life arises! YOU are the ONE that is here, having a very human experience, regardless of what that is and that as you see this more and more, you will see that you get to create anything!
You don’t need to manifest when you realise that you are manifestation itself and that manifesting is your natural state. You don’t need to grind away until it hurts at a business or job, relationships or life in order to keep it going when you realise that creating is what you do naturally. Neither do you need to put in tonnes of effort to enjoy business and to get outstanding results when you realise that peace, joy and wellbeing are what you do best and from where you create best and these too are your natural state.
YOU also don’t need to worry about forgetting all of this, but understand that from time to time you will. It seems to me that we are not designed to see this 100% of the time or else we would. We are having a human experience and that experience feels separate, distinct and actually enables us to want to connect with other humans, thus ensuring that the human race goes on, evolves. In other words, the Universe continues to expand through us and with us! This in and of itself, seems part of the Miraculous nature of well, your nature!
Above all, you don’t need to be afraid that you will create the wrong experience. You can embrace it and realise that you are here to create, to allow creation and you are going to forget and remember, according to your state of Mind and how seriously you are taking the ‘power of thought’ in any given moment.
Life is only happening right now! Miracles only happen right now! I love walking my clients gently towards this experience, towards embracing the miracle that they are and so encouraging them to allow more miracles in from Mind. I have seen humans stop wanting to commit suicide and instead embrace their miraculous self. I have seen business leaders move from charging £800 to £10,000 for their services in a matter of months and I have seen humans fall in love with their partners all over again, simply by realising that they are the manifestation of love itself. In all of these cases, the distinguishing factor, the difference that makes the difference is that they realise that their power to create is innate and so is their wellbeing, peace of Mind, joy, ability to wake up and propensity to go back to sleep. In other words, they realise for themselves that creating miracles is part of their everyday and ordinary life!
What miracles are you creating that you’re not noticing?
Why do I Procrastinate? I looked at my client and smiled and said ‘Because you’re pure wisdom and wisdom knows when you’re moving away from the truth of who you really are’ She looked at me and stayed quiet. In the stillness, I could sense our connection to Universal Energy, to Source and I simply enjoyed the moment, whilst my client, sitting across from me, I could see was feeling it too, the presence. I could also see that she was searching for something to say and so I gently reminded her to allow the feeling and to enjoy it. Words can come later
My clients question about procrastination is a common one and the answer becomes ever more clear and simple to me. When we forget who we really are, our true nature and that our peace of mind is innate, we make psychological attempts to prove ourselves. We start trying to control how we feel, sometimes by taking an action or even by not taking an action. Before we know it, we are out of sync with life and we can’t quite decide what we should be doing or where to start. We might try even harder to gain control and make decisions that were previously already made. We catch hold of every thought that passes through our Mind and since the average human has around 60,000 a day, that’s a lot of thoughts to be noticing and meddling with and long term will lead to exhaustion and potentially more serious physically symptoms and chronic illnesses.
Symptoms of Procrastination
We don’t have to do anything about procrastination, other than recognise the symptoms. Rather, procrastination, like any feeling, is an indication of our state of Mind in that given moment. Procrastination is a trip switch, a clever hack that nature has gifted us to warn us the we are going off track and we have simply forgotten that. The symptoms of procrastination are often confusion, impatience, forgetfulness,indecisiveness, boredom and a lack of concentration. The reason for these feelings is that Mind is gently trying to nudge you to let go of making the decision, doing the thing or thinking about it. Mind is reminding us that we don’t have to ‘think’ because Mind does the ‘thinking’ for us.
How to stop Procrastinating?
How can you stop procrastinating? By recognising that you are and seeing that all humans do it naturally and all humans slip out of it naturally too. We don’t have to stop procrastinating when we understand that procrastination is a signal that we are overthinking. The only thing that makes sense in that case is to stop and I mean stop trying too! The human Mind is built to clear naturally if we surrender to that fact and let it pass. In the meantime, maybe you might choose to find something else to do instead or even take a rest, go for a walk, spend time with people you love and allow yourself to slip gently back into presence. When our Mind clears, the sun is back out and peace is resumed, creativity takes hold and decisions come effortlessly, from that deep place of knowing
I saw my client two weeks after that session and she greeted me with news of just how effortless business had been lately. She described how being in flow and making designs for her team, wasn’t something she had given any thought to whatsoever, rather, it had just seemed to happen. ‘Anyone would think we are governed by Universal Energy and that life is easy after all’ I said with a smile. She grinned back at me and winked ‘It is’ <3
Keep Life Simple has become a mantra of mine, not because life is complicated, but, because it can sometimes seem like it is. Relationships, work, finances and having anything resembling a social life can seem like it entails lots of negotiating, planning for, working towards and thinking about. It looked like that to me for most of my adult life, until I realised that I was simply over-complicating matters.
In fact, the fact that it seemed complicated to do, was one of the main things that prevented me from making moves to simplify my life. Take for instance, my move to self employment and becoming a Coach. Wow, now, that was one major complication and one that took me two years to see the simplicity that was always right there in front of me! Here is how it went:
Im now a coach and everyone will want coaching when they see the benefits! So, how do I show them the benefits? Well, I speak to everyone I possibly can about coaching of course…….*watches as everyone disappears out of the room when they see me coming*. Hmmmm, ok, so I’ll give marketing a go, I mean, marketers say it works so I’m pretty sure that I will be earning 6 figures in no time!! I learn how to do Facebook ads, start a Facebook group, talk about coaching all over Social Media……..*watches as absolutely nothing happens other than a few likes on some posts*
You see, no one can really understand the benefits of coaching until they’ve experienced it because it has such a personal impact. I really started to see this after 18 month of slogging away and making only £250. Yes, you read that right, £250 in nearly 18 months. It wasn’t a business at all, it wasn’t even a hobby, it was a bad habit, something that I just refused to fail at and kept going because I didn’t want people to think of me as a failure. I had no concept then of how actually, what other people thought of me was simply their imagined version of me and could not possibly impact me. It really looked like it could. Not only that, it looked like my own failure was impacting me too. I was stressed, not sleeping and contemplating suicide daily. I mean, really contemplating suicide, until one day, I found myself in a hotel room in London, believing that I was making suicide my reality, I was actually going to do it and at last, I had found a way of doing it so that my family would suffer less. They wont even know it was suicide because it would look like a tragic accident.
Anyway, I will save that story for another time, because, here I am and what I found, starting that evening, was Service <3 Yes, it was a slow discovery and it was months later when I worked with a coach, to help me make sense of it. I just had an inkling that actually, I hadn’t been helping people at all, I had been ‘selling’ to them. A natural mistake to make I know, but, a mistake nevertheless.
Selling only crosses my mind now when Im feeling insecure! Instead, I am in service. Not just in my business, but in life. In my personal relationships with my partner, my friends, family, colleagues, clients, everyone and that includes myself! Selling my coaching is unnecessary when I am in service. I help people uncover their own misunderstanding and shift their life and they want to pay me for that.
There is nothing for me to do other than those things that I want to do. I have gradually dispensed of ‘should do’s’ and ‘need to do’s’ and in doing so, discovered that my life was full of those. I discovered space and now I want to do the things that I do. I write, I see, I work out, I spend time with the people that I love, I help others, I travel, I spend more time in joy and less time in striving. My mind isn’t full of ways to manage a to do list and so its cleared the way to live in service!
You see, I might have these odds slightly wrong, but, they aren’t far off; there is a 300 trillion to one chance of you being born as you!!! You could have been born as anyone, but no, you were born as you!! Odds like that don’t happen for nothing! There is a reason you were born as you and that reason is, that is your purpose, to be you! There isn’t any need for you to search for your purpose, you ARE it! Right now, you’re it! <3
Live each moment knowing that! Speak from that! Listen from that space. There isn’t much else to do, other than exactly what you want to do, that is service. You see, to be in service to others, we have to first be in service to ourselves! We have to see that we aren’t here to multi-task, strive harder and do more. We are here to do, to create, with Grace and joy!
Allow other people that same Grace. Slow down and rid your life of ‘should do’s’ and and lovingly and honestly let them know that they can too. Hold their hand and show them, guide them, speak to them and listen to them and remember, in doing so, listen to you!
As I gradually realised the truth of this, my life shifted gear, along with my personal relationships and my business relationships. This is where I work from, serve from, that place! There is no need to to worry about who I should be, could be, would rather be, because, I am me and showing up that way, I am able to help others see their truth too! Living from integrity takes the need to manage our lives off the table and allows us to somehow to slow down whilst doing more of what we love <3
Keep life simple and in service to yourself, reflect on your to do list and remove all of those ‘should’s and needs’. The chances are, they can wait, or can be done by someone else, or even, not done at all.