Many people are looking for a cure for their busy mind, for their Overthinking! What they are not realising is that they already have one!
The feelings we get when we have a busy mind are here FOR us and are not working against us. The feelings we get when we are Overthinking are a reminder, a nudge from mind that we are Overthinking. Feelings like tiredness, heaviness, anxiety, stress, anger, frustration and so on. But often it is the feelings that people are looking to cure, to release, to rid themselves of and not the busy mind itself.
What happens is one of two things:
People try to organise all of their ‘thoughts’ into categories of priority or importance in a bid to focus, or, they try to rid themselves of the negative thoughts.
These would be perfectly logical steps if controlling our thoughts was possible. Unfortunately, contrary to most psychological theories, it is in fact impossible. However, how unfortunate is that in reality? Lets look a little closer.
If in fact it were possible to control our thoughts, possibility would shrink. You just would not be able to think what you don’t already know. It just wouldn’t occur to you to have a thought that you did not know about. You would stick to the same old thoughts, day in, day out, believing that those are the thoughts available to you, or that those are the thoughts that serve you best and even those are the thoughts you are stuck with. Can you relate?
In fact, this is more common than we realise. It’s called ‘habitual thinking’. It’s thinking that sticks, forms neuro-pathways in our brain and these thoughts often become our default. It is the very fact that we believe we are in control that prevents us from noticing new fresh thinking, new ideas, new perspectives. If control of our thoughts was truly possible, Einstein would not have realised his theories, no new inventions would have been thought up and personal growth would not be a thing.
Furthermore, our mistaken belief that we get to control our thinking causes friction. Yes, we are actually trying to work against our own mind, our own universal mind. I did this for years. In my quest to feel better, to rid myself of depression and anxiety, I tried to have better thoughts, more positive thoughts. In essence, I simply took a shitty spoon to my mind and stirred it up, creating resistance. Resistance to mind energy feels unpleasant, feels difficult, stiff somehow, scary even. I really wanted to get rid of that feeling and so I stirred some more. I failed to understand that the feelings were trying to tell me something. There is wisdom in the feeling!
Whilst all of the thought was being stirred by me, I had very little chance to look into mind and catch a fresh new thought.
Fresh new thinking started to appear though, when I saw insightfully that I couldn’t change anything, that I aren’t that powerful. I gradually put down the shitty spoon and stopped stirring more often and I noticed other options, other thoughts that hadn’t occurred to me before. New fresh thinking emerges naturally, floats to the surface more readily when we allow mind to settle. In essence, what happened was this: I surrendered!
I surrendered to not having control. I surrendered to not being able to change how I feel. I realised that although I felt bad, I couldn’t die from a feeling, but, perhaps I could die from trying to do something about a feeling – think drugs, food, suicide. Yes, suicide was a constant thought for me and I even surrendered to the okayness of that. I accepted that I felt suicidal because I realised that if I was capable of changing that thought and feeling, after 8 years, I would surely have done so.
Like magic, I began to feel lighter, relieved of a burden that I had been carrying around for most of my life. I began to slip out of the habitual thinking that I had had to rely on previously because my mind had been too busy and messy form me to notice anything other. Thoughts such as ‘I have to feel better’, ‘I have to try harder’, ‘I am not enough’ suddenly started to look less solid and real. New thoughts like ‘it isn’t true that you’re not good enough’ accompanied with a lightness and deep knowing arose and I started to see that my innate state is peace and calm. Furthermore, I saw that my innate state is more readily available when I am not trying to achieve it. It was the ‘trying to achieve it’ that was causing the ‘felt disturbance’. I was swimming against the tide of my mind!
This is the human condition, the condition of you too. The illusion is real and in a world where we are taught to control more and more often, we rarely get chance to give up the resistance. On those occasions where we are calm, we believe it is because we have done something right; loved enough, been loved enough, worked hard enough for today, made enough money. But non of that is true.
Feeling calmer, more loving, more at peace is ALWAYS because we have allowed it to emerge. We have given up the fight in our mind and accepted this moment for what it is.
Miracles emerge from this place, from this space in our mind that is accepted and allowed. Fresh new thinking, a better feeling, can all be along at any moment when we let go of control. Even more wonderful, energy starts to resume, bodies and Minds can heal and restore and our whole world can change without hardly anything changing at all <3
I invite you to surrender, to let go and to accept that you aren’t in control. I know that you wouldn’t be self harming with your own thoughts if you fully knew that is what you were doing! Who would?! 7.6 billion humans wondering the earth trying to make themselves feel better so that they can live a fulfilled and happy life. THAT, is a whole lot of Overthinking.
Imagine the whole raft of possibility if we start to let go!
Imagine the leaders who would relax enough to love and lead a little more!
Imagine the relationships that would be deepened!
Imagine the amount of compassion that would arise for ourselves and others with the simple realisation that we are already enough in this moment!
Imagine the ideas that would be given space to be actioned!
Again, I invite you to surrender, to give up the internal battle, to put down your shitty spoon and discover what emerges for you <3
Do you have a project or task that you just cannot seem to get around to? It seems that the hardest job in the world sometimes, is just starting. Just start, you may think and then, you don’t! Is it down to a lack of commitment? Perhaps! But what is the act of committing or the lack of committing down to?
Commitment looks like something that cannot be stopped or changed, altered or slowed down. The act of ‘committing’ seems a serious business and often, commitment requires either a guarantee that something will work out the way we hope or believe, or else, being prepared for it not to.
Yes, commitment can look like a big deal!
What if commitment doesn’t have to viewed as a long term contract? What if the only thing we can really commit to is this very moment? The present moment, the moment we have right now. This is actually the only sensible option and will allow for change, growth and transformation.
Realising that commitment is not a serious business, well, it takes the seriousness out of committing. You can commit, fully knowing that at a later time, what is important has changed shape, moved up or down a place and your new world view allows for fresh thinking, a renewed or even different commitment!
This is in fact how creativity works. Everything in life is creative, created and is part of creation. Everything is a construct of the principle of thought taking form in the moment and can only be created and perceived from there, from our inner world.
Thought isn’t static or stuck or a certain way. Thought changes shape, changes form and changes the way we see life, including the project we are creating, how we are creating and even whether we are creating it at all. But it doesn’t always seem that way. Life seems solid and robust and when we have made a decision, a commitment, we have to continue with that commitment don’t we?
When we begin to understand the changeable nature of life, of thought. Commitment takes on a new meaning. The act of committing is temporary, a promise in the moment. Knowing this, you become responsive rather than reactive. You can alter paths, change course, respond to what is right now and solve problems that arise without having to think in advance of every possible scenario that might arise, trying to solve it beforehand. In other words, you will have less on your mind. This gives a whole new meaning to ‘managing risk’. Managing risk is guess work. Instead, you can respond to risk if and when it arises.
Let me give you an example:
During a call last week, my client noted how many different things that I appear to do, whereas, right now, she is doing the same thing that she began when we first started to work together. Actually though, she is not. Her project is amazing and is really worthwhile. It has grown and changed shape. She has given it more substance than when she first began and she actually runs it differently, but, she has continued with the same project. She also charges more, uses more technology and leads it differently, although yes, it still heads under the same name.
When my client first committed to the project 18 months ago, it looked quite different. Did she commit to the project remaining the same? Maybe at the time it looked to her that way. What she actually committed to though, was creating the project and to it’s continual development and creation. Of course, like all of us, she has moments of overthinking, moments where her plan doesn’t seem to be in alignment with her original plan and she forgets how much she has grown. During those moments, it doesn’t look like growth at all, it looks like she hasn’t set out to do what she originally set out to do. That is true. She has done so much more!
I know that she will continue to grow and change and alter her commitments accordingly, because she has experienced for herself that she has an innate capacity to deal with any circumstance, problem, pothole, change in scenery that arises, but, only in this moment!
In other words, she commits, makes plans, imagines what might and could happen and actually creates because she has an awareness of her innate capacity to create every single new moment. She is connected to her inner resilience, her ability to respond from a place of wellbeing. This gives her what some think is a ‘superpower’; the ability to innovate
It’s the same for you too. If like many, you find yourself committing and then not following through, or you realise that you are reluctant to commit and so have great ideas that you don’t start, you’re probably misunderstanding the true essence of commitment! The commitment is actually to yourself! it’s your promise to do something, to undertake a task, a project, a job that over time, is likely to look different, be different, feel different. By not committing to allowing THAT, to allowing growth and change and transformation, you are withholding part of your self from the world and we are all missing out!
You have the ability, the capacity to innovate. It is your birthright. You have within you the power to respond rather than react and to create without worrying about risk! Furthermore, you can realise that you have dealt with risk many times in your life and regardless of how it felt at the time, or feels right now, you not only survived, you thrived. You are a born risk taker, a born innovator, commit to that!
I see you, in plain view, hiding on Social Media
I see you with your gorgeous smile that doesn’t even reach you
I see you, leading and being and pretending that you can’t
I see you, wearing a filter and wishing that you were that
I see you, rushing and tidying up life and missing your purpose
I see you and your million and one things, faces and places, ignoring the one place where your real face is
I see you, pretending to taste but swallowing it whole
I see you, missing your magic and jumping down the hole
I see you, wanting to rest but not daring do
I see you, because, me too
I see you, looking at the lense and waiting for the flash
I see you, with aching cheeks, tired eyes, wishing you had a pass
I see you, behaving like everything is normal
I see you, waiting for your obituary to become formal
I see you, waiting to breathe out and not seeing this is the moment
I see you, believing your life is dormant
I see you now, waking up and wondering
I see you now, reading these words and the insight that’s forming
I see you, noticing the space and realising that its yours
I see you, yearning to embrace, to cherish and adore
I see you and your true nature and the game you’ve been playing
I see you, your innocence and you’re simple not knowing
I see you, the realisation arising that now is your time
I see you, your frown lines dissolving, bullshit melting
I see you, your magnificence, your ordinary life
I see you, just being here with me now, not caring that this doesn’t rhyme
I see you, realising that maybe you are a creator
I see you, mulling over the messiness and forgetting later
I see you, accepting all that you are
I see you, taking off the mask that you think kept you safe so far
I see you, taking a chance that I might be right
I see you, turning your gaze to your light
I see you, noticing that real life is just beginning
I see you, loving and honouring and winning!
I see you, coming undone
I see you, now go and be you and have fun!
This is for all of you who are ready to take off the mask and realise your innate power. It’s for all of you humans who haven’t yet played full out with your potential. It’s for all of you humans who are playing at leading and are ready for more. You are already it! There is less to do than you think
The qualities of a great leader, I am discovering are pretty similar worldwide. Or rather, when I googled this question, most content listed the same or similar traits as significant.
No doubt you may have your own ideas of what a leader looks like or what they might do and the qualities they possess to make them so. These idea’s or concepts are what you use to decide whether you yourself are a good leader. It’s your inner Leadership Template! If you fit the template, that is great news and it’s likely that you identify with those qualities, they are prevalent in your working life and you have little doubt as to how to lead or whether your leadership is effective. But, if you don’t fit that template, whether you are in a position of leadership or would like to be, you’re likely to be struggling and wondering how you can mould yourself into the Leadership Template!
Either way, the fact is, any idea that humans have of a ‘Leadership Template’ made of qualities, concepts and ideas, is likely to be way off what an actual great leader would define themselves as. Fitting ourselves into a ‘template’ is not actually the best way for us to even grow or develop into a great leader. Certainly, the qualities that most conceive as desirable in a leader, are not the stuff that leaders are made of and are not available to them 100% of the time. Leadership it seems, like everything else in life, is a moment to moment experience.
So, what are these qualities anyway you may be wondering. The most common are things like: confidence, authenticity, integrity, generosity, insightfulness, decisiveness, positivity. They all sound plausible don’t they? In fact, they really sound like the qualities that I myself would love but sometimes, these qualities seem to evade me. When I delved further though, I found some surprising qualities on the list like: restlessness, even wonkiness. Im not even sure what wonkiness means? Although, I can guess, because, sometimes I have wonky days too.
That got me thinking! These qualities, they sound like traits that every human I have ever met has within them. There is nothing that I came across that I could rule out as not being available to me or you. Obviously, there is something missing from the equation that we aren’t noticing.
It was the last session with one of my wonderful clients yesterday. She is the CEO of a global organisation and when we started to work together she had questions that she wanted answers to. She was unsure of whether to move on to something new. Her organisation had gone through a huge change over the last few years and it was taking it’s toll on. She felt anything but the amazing leader that she is! She was making decisions for everyone and rather than growing in the direction that she had hoped, the question she needed to ask herself was whether to continue and risk her health, relationships and sanity, or whether to bail out, find something new and start again.
Throughout our time together, she has recognised her decisiveness, her confidence, her integrity, her authenticity, generosity and positivity but what she also noticed was these qualities weren’t as available to her in every moment and she wanted them back! What she was actually experiencing was her wonkiness and restlessness. Now, according to sources, restlessness and wonkiness are desirable, but to my client, they were anything but!
The real source of good Leadership
Fast forward 6 months and she has stripped her organisation back, stripped her ‘self’ back. She has uncovered glitches that were clogging up the system. She had unearthed what needed to be unearthed and she has rejigged and reshaped a structure that she had been trying with all her might to contain and keep in place. She is in Service!
As we reflected last night on her journey over the last 6 months, she recognised how scary this had been. How she had moments where it looked like everything she had worked so hard for was simply crumbling and that she had failed. It had seemed to her that it was her job to keep it all together and during the last few years. she had worked harder, longer and faster to try to do so! Working that way was not enabling her to be and remain in Service. Being in Service requires your best ‘self’ to show up whenever its available but it also requires you to know that even when it doesn’t show up, it’s still there!
Being in Service is exactly how any and every Great Leader continues their mission and is able to bring forward their decisiveness, confidence, integrity, generosity and authenticity, even when these qualities seem to have deserted them!
Finally my client said the difference that really made the difference was understanding her true nature and noticing, in real time, the ebb and flow of her felt experience, of life!
Really seeing for herself that a Leader will have a range of feelings, including not feeling like a Leader and when this seems true, it has the potential to affect her ability to lead. In fact, this is what happened over the last twelve months, until it gradually dawned on her that during each and every session, we were able to discover those qualities and let them shine.
What my client now has is a refreshed global organisation that she is excited about leading and furthermore, she knows that she is fully equipped for the job! She works less, gets more done and has a better quality of balance in all areas of life, including her relationships and health. All of the qualities listed above are prevalent and available to her in any given moment, but for her insecurity. The desirable qualities in fact, are symptoms rather than causes! They’re symptoms of our moment to moment experience. When she remains in Service to her ‘self’, she naturally calibrates and readjusts and her best ideas, her genius, her fresh thinking has emerged from that place. Being in ‘Service’ to her ‘self’ has benefitted her whole organisation, her personal relationships and her zest fro life!
When we start to understand that our moment to moment experience of life is transient, changeable and not fixed at all, we start to understand why those qualities, or any other qualities, come and go. Life isn’t made of fixed, permanent unchangeable moods or feelings. It is made of fleeting, changeable and variable feelings, moment to moment to moment. Knowing this has enabled her to see just how much she was doing to try and change a feeling and whilst she was doing that, she wasn’t able to access her best ideas, her natural ability to connect and her resilience. She was in fact fighting invisible fires.
Surprisingly for her, but actually not so for me, my client has discovered her inner and innate resilience! She is now conscious, aware and awake to life more of the time and she understands that she gets to listen to her wisdom! Her inner sat nav is her feelings in any given moment. The knowing that the feeling is a reminder of how close or how far away she is walking from her true nature, her inner leader and it is beckoning her to return to her centre has been pivotal.
An insecure feeling is never a warning or sign that we are actually insecure, useless and need to work harder and faster. Neither is it an indication of failure or wrong doing. Our insecurity, whether it is in the form of fear, anxiety or a gentle for-boding, is in fact calling out to us that we are forgetting that we are enough in this moment. The more we ignore this inner sat nav, the louder it will beep! It is trying to keep us on course.
It was so good to see my client fully aware of her centre, of her resilience, health and wellbeing and the joy shining through her smile was a reminder to me why I do this work!
When your inner leader deserts you, remember that it’s simply buried beneath the chaos of an insecure feeling and there is nothing that you need to do to beckon it to return! What you could do instead is remember that the real signs of a good leader is your inner knowing and connectedness to your innate wisdom and resilience and the awareness that in this very moment, you are enough. That is the difference that makes the difference. That is why some Leaders naturally lead and some Leaders never lead at all. It’s because those that never become Leaders, aren’t aware that it is innate and that they can!
Go on, unleash your inner Leader!
Creating Miracles is something that we all do but we rarely notice. Ordinary life, is a perspective of life looking ordinary. But life is nothing short of extraordinary. Even sitting here right now, reaching out to you with my words, it’s pure alchemy! I mean, how can this even be? Want an example of what I am pointing to? Here goes:
My partner was here a moment ago. I know that because before he left, he walked up to me, bent over and kissed me on the cheek. He then left the room and for all I know, he never even existed at all. He certainly doesn’t exist right now, in this room, in my experience of this room! Not beyond these words that I am writing, is an actual experience of Stephen available to me. Of course, I have memories of his existence a moment ago, but, those moments are no longer moments, they’re past moments. Stephen and my experience of him, is simply made of megapixels of thought and those thoughts, are powered by Mind! Not only that, but even in the moment he was actually here, that was thought too!
Now for the Miracle
If you cast your Mind back to 14.8 Billion years ago, what existed before that moment? What? You didn’t exist? Are you sure? I mean. don’t you know that you are the Universe and from where you came? Of course you don’t, because you were created in an image separate from the Universe, or, so it appears. However, the illusion of being separate, being anything other than the Universe, is the exact illusion that stops you experiencing your non separate self, your Oneness.
But 14.8 Billion years ago there was nothing, no thing and within a moment, there was a Universe and ever since then, it has continued to expand, to grow, to gather momentum and to create. Everything [Every thing] is an extension of that one moment of creation, is part of that moment, arises from that moment, in fact, is still that moment. Yet, it doesn’t seem that way! Scientists are searching for matter and cannot find it, instead, what they find as they look closer, look deeper, is space, is nothing.
Yes, we are here, having an experience that seems to conclude that matter does exist, however, when understood in conjunction with the totality of experience being purely thought, then we can begin to realise that we are the Universe, having an individual experience of itself. In fact, the Universe is having billions of different experiences in any one moment. It is imploding and exploding and creating miracle upon miracle. The mountains, the clouds, the oceans, all life forms, are examples of Universal experience and when we meet those experiences, we can only realise them from our own unique and personal perspective. As if that alone isn’t enough of a miracle, we are then free to realise that we too, are creating miracles.
The trouble is, miracles are often so ordinary that we fail to notice their miraculous nature. This brings me on to my second point
Miracles are Everywhere
I sat down to write this 4 days ago. I have no clue from where the idea came, other than it came through me, not from me. I had a sudden urge to write about what I do, what I help others create and the process that I teach others to harness, the principles from where miracles arise!
Half way through, I was in flow, writing, creating and then suddenly, I wasn’t. I had no idea how to continue. I had lost the thread of this conversation and my message was unclear. I didn’t have the words. I noticed Overthinking emerging, recognisable by the heavy feeling of struggle. Fortunately, I understand more deeply now that to sit and try to force something through layers of thought is tiring, exhausting in fact, when done regularly and for long periods. Mind just doesn’t work that way. I cannot control an energy of which I actually have no control. It would not be my most productive use of time and would take far too much effort. I also know that effort is overrated. After all, I spent the majority of my life putting in effort with variable results and so, if effort was the defining factor of doing great work, producing great ideas and honing my skills, I would have mastered ‘effort’ by now. So, I saved the article to drafts and got on with my life.
But I am here now, not even knowing the exact words in advance, but trusting that as I type this, words emerge. I was sitting in the garden this morning drinking my first cup of tea of the day. It’s now Sunday 15th July 2018 here in the UK, 4 days after I first started to write. I reached for my Mac without thinking and began to type. I had an awareness unfolding as I was doing so, but that awareness was light, peaceful and confident, rather than the heavy form it had taken 4 days previously when I put this work down. Because you see, we are made of and from consciousness, a formless energy that creates all things and Mind is the gateway, the formless gateway that brings consciousness to life and the only thing that prevents us from knowing that, is effort in the shape of thought. Overthinking is resistance to what is. It is resistance to our true nature that gets in the way of our true nature and seeing this for ourselves enables us to relax. The heavy lifting of creating isn’t our job and when we see it is taken care of, we can simply get on with life and trust instead that whatever is to be done, will be.
Now that in itself is a miracle isn’t it? The very fact of being able to experience life coming though you, to understand that you have less to do than you might have realised, is a relief. If you want an example, I’m sure you have lots.
Do you have amazing ideas in the shower? Or when out for a walk? Or when you’re out with your friends and family and something suddenly pops into your Mind that you hadn’t considered before? Have you noticed that your best ideas simply come through when you have nothing on your Mind? They arise from presence, from the gaps between thought!
Or maybe you have lost your keys or your glasses or your phone and no matter where you look, you just cannot find them. Later in the day you may find those keys in the fridge and wonder what the hell they are doing there! You see, the more we ‘think’ about a problem, or rather, the more effort we put into ‘thinking’ about a problem, the cloudier the solution will become. Oh the solution is there! It’s always available, but, the solution lies in the space, the gaps between thought, not in ‘thought’ itself. We cannot think our way our of a thinking problem!
Instead, what we can do is realise that. We can notice the effort, the feeling of thinking being heavy and then understand that what that feeling is actually telling us is that we don’t need to do that. The Universe, aka YOU, doesn’t have to put in effort to think when we realise that thinking is a natural phenomena that simply arises. Instead, we can let thinking arise naturally and in the meantime, the right idea, a fresh new idea, a new thought will arise. Now isn’t that miraculous too?
The Final Miracle
If you’re still with me right now, or even if you aren’t, I want to take you back to your Universal self, the place from where we started at the beginning of this. I want to nudge you in the other direction, to who you really are and remind you of your magnificence. You can throw yourself back into life and notice that YOU in fact are the ultimate miracle and from where everything in your life arises! YOU are the ONE that is here, having a very human experience, regardless of what that is and that as you see this more and more, you will see that you get to create anything!
You don’t need to manifest when you realise that you are manifestation itself and that manifesting is your natural state. You don’t need to grind away until it hurts at a business or job, relationships or life in order to keep it going when you realise that creating is what you do naturally. Neither do you need to put in tonnes of effort to enjoy business and to get outstanding results when you realise that peace, joy and wellbeing are what you do best and from where you create best and these too are your natural state.
YOU also don’t need to worry about forgetting all of this, but understand that from time to time you will. It seems to me that we are not designed to see this 100% of the time or else we would. We are having a human experience and that experience feels separate, distinct and actually enables us to want to connect with other humans, thus ensuring that the human race goes on, evolves. In other words, the Universe continues to expand through us and with us! This in and of itself, seems part of the Miraculous nature of well, your nature!
Above all, you don’t need to be afraid that you will create the wrong experience. You can embrace it and realise that you are here to create, to allow creation and you are going to forget and remember, according to your state of Mind and how seriously you are taking the ‘power of thought’ in any given moment.
Life is only happening right now! Miracles only happen right now! I love walking my clients gently towards this experience, towards embracing the miracle that they are and so encouraging them to allow more miracles in from Mind. I have seen humans stop wanting to commit suicide and instead embrace their miraculous self. I have seen business leaders move from charging £800 to £10,000 for their services in a matter of months and I have seen humans fall in love with their partners all over again, simply by realising that they are the manifestation of love itself. In all of these cases, the distinguishing factor, the difference that makes the difference is that they realise that their power to create is innate and so is their wellbeing, peace of Mind, joy, ability to wake up and propensity to go back to sleep. In other words, they realise for themselves that creating miracles is part of their everyday and ordinary life!
What miracles are you creating that you’re not noticing?